It’s 9:30 pm and I’m sitting in the back seat of my brother Mike’s SUV, my younger brother Rich is in the front seat. As we exit the Lincoln Tunnel, the lights of the city come into view. Off in the distance I notice the tallest building in New York, the Empire State Building. The area near the tunnel is under construction so the traffic is a mess; but here the traffic is always bad. The road was so beaten up that the car shook and bounced as we made our way away from the tunnel. As we make our way through and down the streets, the city begins to glow brighter and brighter. We finally arrive in Time Square. Our hotel, The Double Tree Guest Suites, is on the corner of 47th and Broadway; right in the middle of Time Square. I was able to locate the building from about only a block away. All the lights made me a little disorienting. Mike pulls up to the curb and we all hop out. We grab our bags and the valet takes the car to the garage around the corner. Looking up at all the lights and signs, I knew that this was going to be a weekend I was not easily going to forget.
Look over at the clock, its flashing “9:30” on the dashboard of the car. Look out the window to notice the lights of the tunnel flashing as the car rides through. Turn again to see if the two of them in the front have reacted. Look back out the window, the car is leaving the tunnel. Pan the skyline; look for the tallest building in the city. Lock on to it. Think to yourself, “is that it?” It has to be it. It is the Empire State Building. The construction on the road causes the truck to bounce and shake on the asphalt. Look out the window; continue to look up at the buildings and the lights. They get brighter. Turn to the other window on the passenger side of the car; notice the tall tower like building with nothing but neon lights and signs on it. The car enters Time Square. The car pulls over to the curb in front of large structure that looks like stadiums seats. Exit the car, go around to the trunk and pull out your two bags. Turn to the door; look up at the hotel sign that reads “Double Tree Guest Suites.” Watch as the valet takes the car down the street and around the corner. Turn to face your travel companions and walk towards the hotel front door.
The SUV is riding through the Lincoln Tunnel on the way towards New York City. David, Mike and Rich are traveling to meet others for a weekend away. As the car exits the tunnel, Rich and Dave search the skyline to locate the Empire State Building. It takes a few moments longer to locate being that it is 9:30 pm. They locate the building as they begin to enter the city. The city is under construction causing the car to shake and bounce on the road, the guys defiantly notice the change in the road. Rich and Dave look out the windows at all the buildings and the lights. They seem to go on forever. As they drive closer and closer toward the center of New York, the lights seem to get brighter and brighter. The guys enter Time Square. The lights are so bright; Rich makes a comment on how they seem as bright as daylight. Mike, the driver, brings the car into the middle of Time Square up to the curb of their hotel, the Double Tree Guest Suites. Mike pulls right up to the curb, turns off the car, opens the door and gets out. He leaves the keys in the car for the valet. Rich and Dave hop out of the car as well. The three head to the truck and pull all their bags out and place them on the sidewalk. Mike tips the valet as he hops in the car and pull away from the curb. The guys picked up their bags and headed to the front door, not realizing how memorable the coming weekend would be.
I have to say that writing each of these paragraphs was challenging, each in their own way. I knew what I wanted to talk about in each paragraph, but each had its own set of details and ways to portray them. The second paragraph, the one in “second person” was by far the most difficult. Trying to write about entering New York City this way was super hard because I don’t normally think in “direction” form and it was the longest to write. It was most challenging trying to convey every motion and emotion in second person. Tone and language wise, each paragraph came out different. The first seemed mostly neutral, javascript:void(0)the second seemed somewhat darker, and the third seemed a little lighter. I’m not sure exactly why, but as I read them back, it’s how they seemed to me.
- David James Scalea
Your opinion on writing in the third person is the same way that i view writing in the third person. It seems more comical to write in this way, even if it is a darker story it tends to take on the feeling of not mattering as much. In the first person we are talking about "ourselves". In the second we are talking about our audience. This seems to promote a more involved feeling than the third person, which is about some others that aren't participating in the storytelling or listening at all.
ReplyDeleteD. Ryan
I did notice the town shift throughout the three paragraphs and have to say that your hard work paid off. I loved the description of the city you gave.
ReplyDeleteAlthough your characterization could have been a bit stronger, these are one paragraph passages and I think the choice, whether conscious or unconscious, to emphasize the setting was a great one. It gives the story a tone and still manages to get you to know about the character. The reader is left wanting to read more, one of the important things. Good job!
Nitesh Arora