"Soooo, what are you tring to say?"

Success has always been a subjective term, whether it’s your parents envisioning your following in the footsteps of the family podiatry tradition or your teenage brother’s dream of opening a store to sell vintage Air Jordans from the 1980’s. It’s something I internalize as a sum of my own drives and desires balanced by the harshness of reality and money. In the beginning, I felt success was producing writing that sent my message, regardless of the consequences. After receiving my fifth poor grade in my creative writing course, with the comment “Seriously Brian, what in the fuck are you talking about.” scribbled in the margin by my mentor at the time, my idea of success in my writing began to change. Despite the sense of purpose I had in my stories, little mattered if its meaning was dismissed by readers and the rantings of a barking lunatic.

I thought of the neighborhood schizophrenic that loitered around my town’s Dunken Donuts. Every day he would introduce himself and proclaim that it was his birthday, again. He would always try to recruit us to his cause, such as resurrecting Jesus Christ using the dragons that lived in his pancreas. All he needed was access to our schools science lab, and the second coming of our lord and savior would be upon us. Was he successful in compelling us to join his cause? Of course he wasn’t. We simply explained to him that the police wouldn’t look favorably on our entry. When that didn’t seem to work, we simply explained that “The order of the dragon” would most likely shoot at intruders on site, and that he should work on relations with them first. Really what we said was true, simply put in a context that our late night friend could relate to.

For this class, I hope to reopen an old chapter on my life and to convey my thoughts successfully. Without peers to laugh, cry, or fall asleep in disinterest I will not know whether or not I was remotely successful in making any sense at all. While this idea of success may not overlap with others, it is the goal that I have set for myself. It comes from my experience in my life, and trying to convey the insight I have to share.

Edit:
-Brian Walker